Friday, August 10, 2007

All at Once

Precisely 15 minutes ago, I finished my last day of research at Notre Dame.

Ten weeks. Every Monday through Friday, nine to five. Four hundred hours.

It's been...amazing, really. I had no idea what to expect going into this thing, but all the same I ended up completely blown away. For better or for worse, I was taught the basics of what I needed to do - and then I was let loose. From playing with bone to actually getting down and dirty with the data, I...I think I surprised myself, really, with what I've done.

Everything's going so fast, now. I only have a little more than a week left in South Bend - just 9 days left with my family, my friends, with everything and everyone I've grown up with. Even walking around Notre Dame today was hard, because I knew today was the last day, and I don't know when I'll be back.

Deep down, I know that I'm doing the right thing by leaving. Getting out of my comfort zone, going somewhere I can make a new start for myself. A place I can just be myself, surrounded by people who are simultaneously like me and wonderfully different. But it's hard to remember that, sometimes, because everything seems like it's happening all at once, and there's no time to slow down, no time to really say goodbye to the people who matter, to all the friends you'll miss.

It's like I'm caught between two worlds right now, stuck somewhere between South Bend and Boston, Notre Dame and MIT, pre-frosh and froshling. It's not easy, and it keeps on changing. But I was listening to The Fray today, and even though I wasn't really paying attention, one line still caught in my mind. "Sometimes, the hardest thing and the right thing are the same." And that's true. This is what I want to be doing, what I've dreamed of for months. And, it's nearly time to finally make that dream real.

One way or another, I'll make it through.

We all will.

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