Sunday, August 17, 2008

One year's perspective

It's always strange for me to read through the old entries on my blog, because at least to me, they seem very different than the sort of things I post now. I think that's mainly because I've shifted most of my serious thoughts and entries to my admissions blog, so it's really just the random observations (and YouTube videos :D) that get posted here nowadays.

But, still. I almost wish I could go back to last year, when I was simultaneously so excited to head to MIT and Boston yet also incredibly sad to leave South Bend. And I still feel that way, usually, whenever I come back home for a break (like I am now). But I feel much more torn - caught? - between Boston and South Bend than I used to. I think it's partly because many of my friends have also moved on to their respective colleges and new cities, and there's less tying me here than there used to be. After all, while the physical place you live is always important...I can't help but feel that it's the people in that place who really make it home. And now, the vast majority of my friends are also in Boston. (But maybe that too will change, once I graduate - who knows?)

I'm also becoming less dependent, I think (and hope). I relied on my parents for a lot...but, well, part of college is learning to live by yourself, and I love having more freedom. Sometimes I use it less responsibly than I should, to be sure...but I'm working on that. :)

Finally...I think a large part of me simply loves Boston. South Bend is a fantastic city - but it's a small city, and it's incredibly different from Boston. In the physical sense, South Bend is much more stratified than Boston: here are the subdivisions and the residential zones, there are the strip malls and the shopping centers, out there are the factories and the farms...whereas in Boston, everything is mushed together, apartments and bars and stores, Fenway and the Common and Skullhouse all within walking distance, and it's seemingly so random but so beautiful at the same time.

I don't know, yet, if I'm destined to be a Bostonian for the rest of my life. It's far too early to talk about that...but it is an incredibly city, and I'm proud to live there.

And I love being able to call MIT my home.


Li said...

That is an interesting dilemma (and one I can't really appreciate.) With all the emerging biotech industries/communities in the area, I doubt I'll ever leave Cambridge. As far as being "destined to be a Bostonian"-- I've wondered the same thing about students who come to the area for science/technology-related pursuits. I guess we'll all have to wait and see where we're destined (and what "destiny" really means.)

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